


Count the Days That Pass Me By

by The_Readers_Writer



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Finn & Rey - Freeform, Finn/Rey - Freeform, Finnrey, Misscarriage, Panic Attacks, Postpartum Depression, Pregnancy, Rey Needs A Hug, Shoulder to Cry On, Sleepless nights, pregnant rey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 12:46:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9072286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Readers_Writer/pseuds/The_Readers_Writer
Summary: What happens when you don't get to bring your baby home?





	

Rey stood over the tiny craddle, making yet another attempt to fight back her tears of pain. She uncrossed her arms and gently ran her hand over it's frame. She sighed as she could feel herself loosing the fight against her tears, and just decided to let them fall. 

She hated that she still cried, and that she lost sleep, and that she couldnt concentrate on much for only a few minuets at a time. 

Her muffled sighs turned into a lound outcry. She placed her hand over her mouth, and tried to remain silent. It had been a full two months and she still couldn't shake the feeling. "You're not supposed to turn that love off" she remembered someone telling her. "It's okay to feel sad about this." 

The only thing wrong with that is that Rey wasn't just sad about it. She was distraught, distreesed, heartbroken even. There were some days that she felt as if getting out of bed wasn't even an option. Constant tears, no energy whatsoever, and the constant reminder of what she had lost whenver silence broke through the house, which was quite often more than not. 

Dropping down to her knees, Rey covered her entire face with her hand. That day still plays itself over and over, and over again and again in her mind. Never letting up on the torture and sadness it brings to her. 

'It's your fault! It's your fault! It's you fault!' she heard over and over in her mind. And she believed those voices. Who else was to blame for what happened? No one else could hold the blame or be responsible for it. No one but her. 

'Why?!' she constantly wondered to herself. Why did this have to happen to her? After so long of going without a family, she gets an opportunity to have her own, and that chance gets snatched away from her.

She couldn't take the noise anymore. She wanted no more noise, and no more voices reminding her of what a failure she had become. She placed her hands over her ears, and began rocking back and forth, waiting for the voices to go away, if they ever did. While she sat there hoping, wishing, praying, she felt strong arms protectively constrict themselves around her entire body,grasping onto her as tightly as they could. It wasn't long after she felt a pair of lips place a firm kiss to the back of her skull. The body that accompanied the arms and lips began matching her rythym. First, and slowly, rocking back and forth. Back and forth. 

Finn heard Rey whimper, so he tightened his love grip around her small frame. Now that he was here to be her anchor, she released everything she had been holding in that night. "Shhh..." Finn said gently making an attempt to soothe her, unsuccessfully unfortunately. 

"Baby" he said. "I need you to breathe with me" he whispered in her ear again. "Come on now, slowly with me."

He sat back from the position he was in, and pulled Rey into his lap. As soon as her back hit his chest, Finn gently placed his hand over her heart. 

"Breathe with me baby, you can do it. Be strong" Finn said trying to convence her to slow her breathing, but it wasn't working. "You can do it. I know you can. Come on, breathe like me. In, and out. Deep breaths, in and out. There you go" Finn said encouragingly.

Rey's breathing slowed momentarily, only for it to pick back up even faster than it had been going. 

Finn picked up Rey and carried her into their bedroom, gently sitting her down on the bed. He grabbed the phone, and quickly dialed 911 just as Rey began dry heaving. 

"911, what is your emergency?" the operator asked. 

"It's my wife" Finn said, a bit of panic begining to creep it's way into his tone. "I think she's having an anxiety attack."  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

An hour and a half later after being in the waiting room, a doctor approached Finn.

This was not Finn and Rey's first trip to the emergency room because of this issue, and it more than likely wasn't going to be their last.

"Has she been taking her anti-anxiety medication that I prescribed her?" the doctor asked Finn.

Finn shook his head and placed his palm over his face. "Ugh, she just doesn't have any energy since the misscarriage. And she says taking the pills makes it worse."

"Okay, well I'll see if I can get her on something else. But in the mean time, I need her to get some rest. These panic attacks are causing her blood pressure to rise, which is very dangerous if these episodes continue to happen." Finn nodded hsi head this time. 

After all was said and done, Finn spoke up and asked, "Can I see her?" 

"Sure" the doctor said with a smile. "We're going to keep her overnight just this once so we can get her bloodwork done and run a few more tests. Just remember, she needs to rest."

Finn walked into the room where his wife was kept, room 303. He stood there for a moment smiling at her, relieved that she wasn't in pain anymore. He knocked on the doorframe just to make sure that she wasn't actually sleeping. He smiled as he saw her eyes flutter open to meet his. Her whole face, not only her mouth, lit up and smiled when she looked at him. Something Finn knew he would never grow tired of. He slowly walked over to her bed and ran his hand across her face. For a moment, they just sat in silence starring at one another. The silence was finally broken when Rey spoke up, offering an apology for allowing yet another attack to happen. 

"Shh. Stop, you don't have to apologize. You're going through a lot right now and I know on some level what that feels like" Finn said. "The baby may have been my child too, but you were the one who it was growing inside of, and all this time you've been feeling it move and grow."

Rey felt her eyes sting with tears yet again. She felt Finn's hand rest atop of her own. "We'll get through this together, I promise. We just have to take it one day at a time" he told her. She looked up and smiled at her wonderful husband before he spoke up once again.

"I love you, and I want you to know that once you're feeling better and if you're up to it, we can always try again."

**Author's Note:**

> so I guess this is what you get when you take your uppers and downers at the same time, and then add cough syrup to the mix....sorry for the depression. It just popped into my head.


End file.
